Soundtrack - Michael Polutta

SuperWeek 2011

2011-06-24T08:49:00.002-04:00

We returned last Saturday from PBC First Week 2011. It was one of the best weeks of camp for me in a long time. There are several reasons. One is the opportunity that Natalie and I had to teach the 16-year-old campers every morning. This really was a highlight of our day each day. We LOVED our class!

With few other primary responsibilities - another staff member ended up being the primary sound guy - I was free to interact with campers. This was great fun and very rewarding. It was also great to welcome back some staff from years past who have been missing for a few years.

The theme - "Signs" - where we looked at the miracles of Jesus as recorded in John - worked very well.

The depths of the friendships I have at PBC are foundational for me. Yet somehow every year opens a new horizon for friendship - such a blessing!

I'm already looking forward to next year...

Recovery test

2011-03-25T11:52:00.001-04:00

Here’s a simple test of whether the economic recovery is self-sustaining or not: cut Federal spending back to 2007 levels (a $1 trillion reduction) and cancel all Fed intervention such as quantitative easing.

Whaddaya think?

Waiting, but not very expectantly

2010-11-23T10:54:00.004-05:00

I'm glad for the change in government that was elected a few weeks ago. I am dubious that much will change, but I'm cautiously optimistic that "progress" will slow down.

It amazes me that ANYONE thinks that more government is the solution. Honestly, if "Washington is broken" as our President likes (liked?) to say, then what on earth makes anyone buy that huge growth in Washington is the answer? I really don't get it. Americans are not that stupid, despite the best efforts of the NEA.

The one change I would really like to see more than any other would be the adoption of the Fair Tax. I doubt it will ever happen, but it would be the best thing for our country, internally and externally.

Unbelievable

2010-05-11T10:56:00.002-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPI77kNTS-A&NR=1

My problem here is with the thought that the government should impose any limits on any citizen who is living within the law. Are you kidding me?

Will we learn?

2010-05-02T19:43:00.002-04:00

Will the US learn anything from the debt crisis in Greece?

Sad to say, but I doubt it.

Whether we like it or not?!?

2010-04-14T13:21:00.001-04:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8Yf7IoB0kk

Utter, absolute disgust

2010-03-19T11:05:00.001-04:00

Our president's policies makes me sick to my stomach.

Conflicted

2009-12-21T11:09:00.003-05:00

I'm feeling conflicted about our economy. I want a nice, healthy recovery. I want all the people who are looking for work to find good, honest work.

But I'm VERY dubious about our current approach to "recovery" - which is for our government to go INSANELY into debt. Actually, that's not true. I'm CERTAIN that you cannot borrow your way to prosperity.

Proverbs 22:7b - ...the borrower becomes the lender's slave.

*sigh*

My basic position on Health Care Reform

2009-11-18T13:08:00.003-05:00

We as a society are asking for something for free that is not free.

We want our health care "insurance" to pay for our "routine maintenance" as well.

We do not carry car insurance to cover door dings and oil changes. We carry car insurance to cover us in the event of an accident.

Why do we think "insurance" should pay for well-person care? Why are we so unwilling to pay our own way?

Where I think the system is broken is that everything is funneled through the insurance web. There is no real competition in medicine, and only somewhat in insurance. We have turned insurance into a social program whereby those who pay premiums support those who do not. And since this is not working (working being defined as more and more coverage with no increase in premiums), now we want GOVERNMENT to "fix" it?!? Are you kidding me? Please, ANYONE, show me one single instance of government fixing this sort of problem, on this sort of scale. Please. Just one.

If we continue on this path toward deeper government involvement in ever more aspects of our lives, then we will be yet another republic that did not last beyond 250 years. Check your history...

Leveling out

2009-10-05T10:22:00.002-04:00

So we just experienced the ZOE Conference 2009 - Inside Out. It was an excellent weekend. Though the format/schedule of the conference had changed, overall I think it was an improvement. We were encouraged, inspired, challenged, and uplifted by our time in Nashville. We also had a chance to just be 2 grownups for a couple days. This was very nice, and much needed.

My mom came up to stay with the girls - thanks SO much, Mom. We love you and appreciate you.

The title of this post refers to how I'm feeling post-conference. Less of a "mountaintop high" feeling. I actually think this is a good thing, an improvement from earlier times. I'm feeling more secure in several areas of my life, and this is good. Above all else I am more secure than ever that my wife loves me. This is VERY good.

I'm vying for worst blogger ever

2009-08-03T09:27:00.002-04:00

Well, I know a few folks that are even more occasional bloggers than I. Still, I have been quite the slacker in this regard. Do not take this as a statement of intent to blog more frequently. I do a lot more updating on FB than on blogspot. Nonetheless...

End of summer - man, that just doesn't seem right on August 3rd! "Summer" is now only 2 months long, it seems to me. We've had quite a bit going on this summer. PBC in June, all of my family here around July 4th, the Grandparents Tour (Charleston and Jacksonville) later in July. Lots of youth group events and sleep-overs (we call them "wake-overs" since very little sleep actually occurs). Last week Natalie and I even got to go on a date! Woo hoo!

We've had one of the youth group interns living with us - well, occasionally sleeping in our guest room would be a more accurate description. We only shared 2 meals all summer with her! (one of those this past weekend as we took her to our favorite Thai restaurant as a goodbye dinner) Savannah is a very sweet girl and she has been a blessing to our youth. We pray God's blessing on her as she returns to college for her final year.

Changes are in store for the school year. The co-op that the girls have been involved in for the past 2 years is no more. Lauren will attend Cordis this year. We are hopeful that the additional course load and the additional external accoutability will help her grow. We are still looking for more "social" outlets for Rachel. She has VERY MUCH enjoyed the horse riding lessons and "Saddle Club" meetings that she has been able to attend. Perhaps that is a part of what she will enjoy this year as well. We'll see. Horse stuff is PRICEY!

We continue to make progress on our Dave Ramsey financial plan. We are all but out of debt, save for the mortgage. We are building our "emergency funds" and working on our long-term goals as well.

Natalie is such a blessing to me and to our family. I hope that my daughters see how hard she works to show each of us her love for each of us. I love you, babe.

I guess that's enough for now.

Non-typical post-camp entry

2009-06-17T11:17:00.002-04:00

Last week was SuperWeek - PBC First Week 2009. We had a fantastic week. What a blessing to be a part of it and see it continue to evolve under new leadership.

My usual thought process in the week after camp has been that last week I was doing things of long-term significance, and this week, not so much. That is not my mindset this year. I think a lot of this change is due to my reduced role in the week. The weeks where I was Worship Director were some of the most enjoyable weeks for me. This week was good, but was not the spiritual high for me that it has been in the past. I'd prefer to be able to explain the difference, but I'm just not sure what it is.

My biggest contribution last week was probably the Samson skit. I hope the Friday morning chapel talk was of some value as well. I sang bass on the Praise Team for most of the week.

Perhaps the root issue here is pride. I have always been proud of our week of camp, and proud of my role in it. I think it isn't as much "our" week as it once was. With intent and purpose the "older generation" (*my* generation) has worked to hand off SuperWeek to another generation - and they're doing very well with it. But I must admit that I miss being involved in the planning and being involved at a deeper level in the execution of the week. I'm looking for my next role at SuperWeek. I don't think I'm ready to slip completely into the background - ego-wise, I certainly want to think I have other value to add than a completely background role. I'm pretty sure I need to humble myself and just be used as needed. I *am* working toward my dreams of improving the camp facilities, but that is several years away.

I was especially pleased this year that we had a larger Burnt Hickory contingent at PBC. I hope it grows each year.

I suppose that's enough for now. Lunch break is over - back to work!

SuperWeek Ahead!

2009-06-03T13:18:00.003-04:00

We are just a few days away from PBC SuperWeek 2009! I will get to do some really fun things this year, and I'm excited. No talent show band, but oh well. I still get to play for both daughters as they sing this year, so it's all good.

I am VERY MUCH EXCITED! Man, I think I really need a vacation...

It is neat to be 46 and looking forward to this like I did when I was 15. Not to mention seeing my kids look forward to it at least as much as I do.

Stress tests indeed!

2009-05-11T15:11:00.004-04:00

So the government has now released the results of the bank "stress tests." Our benevolent government has instructed several large banks (including Bank of America, Morgan Stanley, and Wells Fargo) that they must raise additional capital.

I find this ironic to the point of ridiculous. The projected deficit for JUST THIS YEAR is $1.8 TRILLION DOLLARS. This is almost $6000 of debt for every human being in the US, irrespective of age. (current population estimated at 304,059,724) Just for this year! And remember - this number only represents the DEFICIT! This is only a part of the proposed budget, and does not represent all the (@#$$%$@!!) tax receipts taken by the government.

Are you kidding me? Please let me wake up from this nightmare! Truly, I fear for our country in the hands of our current government. Anyone read the history of the Roman Empire recently?

Ugh. Am I being too cynical?

2009-04-16T11:01:00.005-04:00

NOTE: You must read the prior post for this one to have the proper context.

"Detailing his vision for the biggest transportation investment since the Eisenhower administration, President Barack Obama said the U.S. can create jobs, ease congestion and help the environment by building a high-speed rail system between major population centers. 'Imagine whisking through towns at speeds over 100 miles an hour, walking only a few steps to public transportation, and ending up just blocks from your destination,' Obama said in remarks at the White House. 'This is not some fanciful, pie-in-the-sky vision of the future. ... It is happening right now, it's been happening for decades. The problem is, it's been happening elsewhere, not here.' The economic-stimulus package passed earlier this year included $8 billion over two years for high-speed rail, separate from the government's annual subsidy to the Amtrak passenger train service. Obama's budget proposal would add $5 billion over five years to a program for states to invest in high-speed rail. The White House says the money is a down payment on the system and a new direction for U.S. transportation policy. 'What we need ... is a smart transportation system equal to the needs of the 21st century, a system that reduces travel times and increases mobility, a system that reduces congestion and boosts productivity, a system that reduces destructive emissions and creates jobs,' Obama said. Obama said clogged and aging highways are costing the U.S. $80 billion a year in lost productivity and wasted fuel. The Federal Railroad Administration will begin awarding the first round of grants by late summer. The initial funds will upgrade existing infrastructure to boost speeds on routes from 70 miles an hour to more than 100 miles an hour."

To me this looks like another extension of government control. The ultimate beauty of car ownership is freedom to decide when I go where. If I'm dependent on "public transportation" then I am no longer making decisions for myself. I admit that I am dependent on the government(s) to provide the roads, but fuel (and other transportation-specific) taxes are available to pay for a lot of that.

I think I need a vacation

2009-04-16T10:07:00.003-04:00

Just feeling kind of "meh" as my daughter would say.

Natalie and the girls went to Maryland for Spring Break. I stayed home because it was not a good time to take off work. I always enjoy the first couple days on my own. I can work on whatever project I want to, when I want to, guilt-free. This usually lasts 2, maybe 3, days. After that my selfish time is spent, and I'm ready for them to return. (Mostly, I got a lot of things done to the car that I've wanted to do for some time.) I also tend to cook in larger portions, so I end up eating the same 1 or 2 dinner meals for the entire time they're gone. This time it was grilled burgers and BBQ pork on the menu repeatedly (and alternately). I'm still refining my Carolina-style BBQ sauce (apple cider vinegar based "sauce"), but it is very good as it is. When everyone returned they worked HARD to finish the BBQ, and it did not last long at all.

I'm in the process of joining a band. One of my old band mates, Keith, has hooked up with some other fellows who are quite talented, as well as having similar music tastes. I think this will be fun. It will be nice to play out again. They were all suitably impressed with my home-built amplifier.

I may have a commission to build a small bass amp. That will be cool too.

On a larger-scale note, I am deeply dismayed by the direction our government seems to be heading. I fear for our economy, even more than I did 6 months ago. The amount of currency that has been put into circulation is staggering and unprecedented. Inflation (significant inflation) is the only reasonable result. Unless the Federal Reserve begins taking most of that money out of the supply (unlikely, especially given the scale of government spending that is proposed), and quickly, we are going to be hurt as a country and as individual families. The further reach of government into more and more aspects of private life, the "nanny state" if you will, is absolutely the WRONG direction, in my opinion. My wife and I continue to pray that we will always see God's hand in control of our lives, that our strength and trust will be in Him in every dimension. Right now that thought is taking me to the absolute limits of my faith. It does not feel good at all. I do not feel good at all. Ominous, dark clouds are all I see. Ugh.

That girl could sing...

2009-03-11T17:55:00.004-04:00

We had our "Backlot Film Festival" at Burnt Hickory last Saturday night. Lauren and I provided one of the musical interludes between sets of movies. Hope you enjoy it.

Bonus points if you identify the reference in the blog post title.

Brotherhood is good!

2009-02-23T10:16:00.002-05:00

Plans are progressing. My brother Lee helped me out BIG TIME on Saturday. We took Lee's truck and went to Pull-a-Part in Lithonia, GA, and found a t-boned MX-6 that has obviously been painted recently prior to the accident. The hood and fender were in GREAT shape. The bumper was only "okay," but still good enough. So I got all 4 of the primary parts I need (hood, fender, bumper, headlight assembly) for $135! Cool!

Side note - this car had been t-boned on the driver' side. The 2006 graduation tassel was still hanging on the rear view mirror. I felt compelled to pray for the folks in that accident - it did NOT look good. The driver's door would NOT open, though we compelled it quite forcefully (and repeatedly).

Another brother, Keith, has an extra vehicle that I can borrow while the Mazda is being repaired. Cool!

Another brother, Kenneth, has done auto body and painting work for the last 20 years. Though he is in a new career (or two) now, he is willing and able to effect repairs on the Mazda for me. This will, no doubt, be the least expensive approach to getting the work done, and done well. Thanks, Kenneth! I am very much looking forward to the restoration of my car. Cool!

Brotherhood is good!

Once all this is done, I'll get back to the other pending work on the car - replacing the rear trailing links (I already have the links), getting her aligned, and getting new tires.

A quick update

2009-02-19T09:58:00.003-05:00

I am planning to head to Pull-a-Part this weekend to try to get all the main parts I will need to fix the Mazda. My friend Lee is planning to help, and to provide the pickup truck to transport the items. If I can find the 4 primary parts I need (hood, fender, bumper, headlight assembly) it should cost less than $150 for those 4 parts. Some of them may even be black!

Work is going pretty well - I just received a promotion. There is a lot going on, so the workload is not letting up. However - income is GOOD!

I am still working hard to learn to trade well in the stock market. I have to admit that the progress has been slower than I had hoped. The market has been going basically sideways, and it is very hard to trade profitably when that happens.

Natalie and I are working through Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University Online." It is going well. We are making changes, and working to become debt-free. The coolest thing so far is that it is lending a structure to our work on the monthly budget. We are working together to accomplish OUR goals. Nice.

Ouch!

2009-02-12T18:17:00.004-05:00

Well, here is a way to NOT start your day...

Sadly, this was my fault - a momentary lapse of focus combined with a sudden stop in front of me on I-75 heading in to work a little before 7am. Happily, nobody was hurt. Oddly, the car I hit then hit the car in front of it, but that person did NOT hang around to assess the damage. Makes you wonder...

Anyway - I'm investigating what it may take to fix this. The parts may not be all that much if I can find most everything I need (and I likely can) at salvage. We'll see how it turns out.

For now, I'm thankful to be home.

I have to confess

2009-02-06T11:35:00.003-05:00

I am becoming more and more concerned about our economy. I am fearful of the impact of the proposed "stimulus" plan on several levels. Our nation is a nation of debtors. The idiotic notion that since the population is fully leveraged (we've borrowed all WE can) now the government should step in and become THE borrower on our behalf is NOT going to make things better.

I fear that the dollar is going to be all but worthless. Have you read about the conditions in the Weimar Republic before Hitler's rise to power?

On the plus side, my wife and I are working through Dave Ramsey's "Financial Peace University" online. We are focused on paying off all of our debts. We are working to save up and pay cash for everything going forward.

James 4:10 - Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

A cool quarter-million... miles

2009-02-06T11:33:00.003-05:00

On January 27, 2009 my 1989 Mazda MX-6 GT crossed 250,000 miles. Cool.

Updates

2009-01-18T21:35:00.004-05:00

Natalie's uncle is hanging in there.

I only made 32 days of the burpee challenge. I got sick, and had to let it go. I'll pick it up (from the start) again in a while.

I overhead squatted 165# for reps last week.

We are still working to get our anniversary dinner done - and our 18th anniversary was 1/5! On our anniversary we ate dinner at Chik-Fil-A. Yippee.

We got a new vacuum cleaner. A Kenmore Progressive. It seems to be a very good vacuum. It has a "dirt sensor" built in, so you keep vacuuming until the light is green. Apparently our former vacuum sucked, because it did NOT suck. It seems our carpets are FILTHY. I literally vacuumed our bedroom for over 45 minutes until the machine was *mostly* happy with the results. So now vacuuming is like a video game...

Natalie and I are taking "Financial Peace University" online at www.daveramsey.com - this is good.

My wife is an amazing person. (That last one is not news, and is not an update. However, it IS true.)

Reunion and a new PR

2009-01-03T12:37:00.002-05:00

I'm very much looking forward to the return of my family from WV. They've gone up there to visit Natalie's uncle one last time - he is at home with hospice care with end-stage cancer. I'm glad they all got to go visit, and I think they all feel blessed for the opportunity.

Meanwhile, a new PR (personal record) for 30 muscle-ups today. The first time I did that workout was in Jax over Thanksgiving. I completed it in 11:09. This time it only took 6:59. I'm quite proud of the improvement.

I'm participating in a "burpee challenge" also. 1 burpee the first day, 2 the second day, etc., up through 100 days. I'm WAY behind since I took a few days off while I was sick this week. Gotta get caught up!

Best idea I've heard in a LONG time

2008-12-22T18:20:00.002-05:00

How about, rather than a $600B or $700B "stimulus" package, how about this instead? Give us a Federal Income Tax holiday long enough for the equivalent savings!

If the annual budget is $1.5 trillion, then how about a 4-5 month break from any Federal Income Tax? Isn't that equivalent? If you have to borrow (read: print) the money, then just print it for federal expenditures, and let us KEEP OUR MONEY! That way it isn't redistributed at all.

Imagine the outcry when the taxes kick back in! Can you say, "Fair Tax," boys and girls?

Best idea I've heard in a LONG time...

This weekend, this year

2008-12-08T10:42:00.005-05:00

Natalie and Lauren were at the "Revolve Tour" this weekend. Rachel spent most of Saturday playing with her friends. So I reorganized my corner of the garage. I got rid of some stuff, reorganized some stuff, and cleaned up some stuff. Much better - it feels good to have that done. I also made some improvements in my workshop, and cleaned out one corner there - also very good. Such things are always therapeutic for me. What is so odd is how I let things get so bad before I make them better. I guess when I clean something I like to know it *REALLY* made a difference! (grin)

We worked on Christmas cards a little bit this weekend too. We're still debating about whether or not to do a "Family Newsletter." The only major difference between last year and this is that I did NOT have a heart attack. We're all a year older, some of us a year wiser, all of us a little closer to God (we certainly hope) and each other. I dunno - there were SOME differences this year. Some things we *did* differently, some things we *did not* do. I aspire to do more. Much of "doing more" means I must do differently - which is on me. I ask you to pray for me, that I will make any needed changes to be more successful - which may or may not mean what you think. I have tremendous opportunities in front of me. I want to fulfill God's purposes in my life, and to positively impact the lives of many.

Another Crossfit Milestone

2008-11-29T08:35:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I did 30 muscle-ups for time. It didn't take all that long - but the point is that I conquered the intimidation factor of that workout and I DID IT! Yes, I'm a little sore this morning, but I DID IT! I also ran 4 400m sprints afterward, since I knew I would not be working out today or tomorrow.

We're returning today from Jacksonville. The break has been nice, but I think we're mostly ready to be home again. I'm looking forward to leading worship tomorrow. Tomorrow is the last Sunday of the quarter, so it will be our last time teaching the 3rd graders for a while. We're not sure yet what we'll be doing next quarter.

Please pray for safe travel for our family today. We'll be driving in rain most of the way, it appears. It's been a long time since we've driven in rain! (We're *thankful* for the rain, we're *thankful* for the rain, we're *thankful* for the rain)

My hope for our new president.

2008-11-05T22:22:00.002-05:00

I hope his (recent) rhetoric conquers his record.

Sadly, I am forced to say (recent) because his rhetoric has been a moving target, moving steadily "centrist" from "far left." I have NO IDEA what this guy's core beliefs are - unless I give more weight to his record than his words. If that is the case, I am deeply concerned for the path we are about to head down.

I pray that I will always remember that my citizenship is in the Kingdom of God. All else is fluff. Important, but fluff nonetheless.

Zidon Avisha

2008-10-27T10:28:00.004-04:00

I returned yesterday from our Men's Retreat at Zidon Avisha, which is near Tuscaloosa, AL. It is a beautiful place. It is MAN-VILLE. 4-wheelers, skeet shooting, shooting range, paintball, fishing, hiking, wow.

The food was amazing. A family from Tuscaloosa cooked for us. They worked HARD. I had the tastiest beef brisket I've ever had.

Sadly, the invited speaker was too ill to attend, so we had no speaker at all. We did a couple short devotionals, but that was about it for spiritual content. We had a theme (Resonate) but no theme-related content. Kinda weird.

I received gymnastics rings from my family for my birthday. I took them with me to the retreat and had an excellent rings workout on Saturday. I'm still sore from it. A few folks tried out the rings as well.

Mostly, I'm glad to be home. I missed my family.

Another moment in this string of moments

2008-10-23T14:30:00.003-04:00

So now I'm 46.

I am a blessed man. At times I struggle to remain thankful. I lose perspective. My vision narrows.

God please help me see better. I want to see as You see. I want to do as you would have me do. Your hand is active in my life. Thank you. In the midst of all the pain and frustration and selfishness I see and participate in, You are faithful. May I find my strength and purpose only in You and Your will for me.

Debates and outcomes

2008-10-16T09:02:00.003-04:00

The final debate is in the books - and my distaste for both candidates went up. For McCain, he is simply a terrible debater/public speaker without a script. Obama comes across to me as smarmy and condescending. Neither one got all their "facts" straight, but I have to say that Obama was WAY FURTHER off the truth reservation than McCain (all things being relative, of course).

Obama's calmness helps him a lot in moments like last night. But his "little grin" every time McCain made a point just made me angry. McCain was no better, rolling his eyes. One comes across as opportunistic (and, like I said, condescending), the other as full of disdain. Ugh!

The willful misrepresentations were most disturbing. 100% of McCain's ads have been negative? WRONG! A fine for changing health care plans? WRONG! These are but simple examples - pointed at the other candidate. Where is the integrity?

I will say that I think Bob Schieffer did the best job of the 4 moderators used in all the debates. Some of his questions were very good. He did let many go unanswered, though.

The election seems to be Obama's to lose, and he did not. I am truly fearful of Dem/Dem/Dem in the White House, Senate, and House of Representatives. There is too much socialism in our government, period - but WAY too much more in the Democratic Party. I believe that the leftist policies that will (apparently) flow from Dem/Dem/Dem will hurt our country, hurt our economy, and hurt the world. I think personal responsibility will be even less of an ingredient in our national culture than it is now (which is far too little), so the downward spiral will worsen. The "Nanny State" will get bigger, and we will all be worse off because of it. Does "The Fall of Rome" ring any bells?

Wow!!! 4-digit Dow, 3-digit S&P

2008-10-09T20:55:00.002-04:00

Well, we're not far at all from the level I mentioned on the Dow. I did not expect to get here quite so fast! It's hard to see the end of the slide at this point.

We'll see...

Health care is NOT a right!

2008-10-08T11:41:00.003-04:00

Of all the statements by the candidates in last night's debate, only one REALLY set me off.

Senator Obama, HEALTH CARE IS NOT A RIGHT!!!!

That he thinks it is shows me his true WAY LEFT colors. What an idiotic statement! Only if you add a constitutional amendment is this true. And the only way to "pay" for it is to become health care socialists.

No, thank you.

I do not have the words to express how afraid I am for our country now. If this is indeed the road we are headed down, I believe we are headed indeed for the end of our representative republic. Apocalyptic, yes. But that is how I see it. We MUST embrace individual responsibility as individuals and as a nation.

ZOE - Fearless

2008-10-08T08:17:00.004-04:00

Natalie and I enjoyed a little escape to Nashville. It was a good time. We enjoyed visiting (briefly) with friends from all over. We enjoyed some challenging and informative sessions. We participated in heart-stirring worship.

The theme was an interesting one. I was surprised (relative to my expectations) that the theme was a little more internally-focused than recent themes. There was, it seemed, a little less "missional" stuff in this year's conference. That is not a bad thing, necessarily, just different from my expectations.

I will confess that the last session of the conference - a dramatic presentation of nearly all of the book of Revelation - left me a little flat. It was good, for what it was, but it was not the same kind of "outro" that I've come to expect. It was a combination of preaching/reading (MOSTLY reading) and a recitation by someone dressed up as John. They basically read Revelation to us. The "wow factor" of someone dressed as a first-century person wore off for me some 20 years ago when we started doing that at PBC. But the biggest obstacle for me was that the fine performance of the character of John (really, he did a good job) used a voice that reminded me WAY TOO MUCH of "Tim" from "In Search of the Holy Grail," where Tim is warning of the peril of the killer rabbit. I just could not get that voice out of my head...

The best thing was seeing Natalie relax little by little as the weekend progressed. We had great conversation on the way up and on the way back. (We may have listened to the new ZOE CD on the way up (while talking), but we just talked all the way home.) I really enjoyed the time with just her. Why is it so hard to make time for that on an everyday basis? I love my wife. She is beautiful (and pretty). She is interesting to me. She has a heart for God. I am truly blessed.

Where does it end?

2008-09-29T11:39:00.003-04:00

NONE of this should be construed or interpreted as advice.

Philip Murphy asked where the bottom will be for the Dow. Here's is what I can say at this point. There is a significant uncertainty as to how much the government bailout (Pelosi called it a "buy-in" - uh, hmmm, No!) There is significant over-leveraging throughout the world that is falling apart. (See European bank failures announced today also.)

While there may be a short-term boost (or at least a pause in the downward move) due to the government program, I expect the down to continue. It will not surprise me to see us go as low as 8300-8400 on the Dow before it is all said and done. I expect significantly more bank failures. This morning's buyout of Wachovia and last Friday's failure of Washington Mutual are 2 big examples, but I expect there will be a LOT of smaller banks fail. This will be caused by AND will cause a lot more fear in the economy.

You see, there are 2 emotions that rule the market - fear and greed. Guess which one is in control now...

BTW, NONE of this should be construed or interpreted as advice.

Addendum - Wow, what a day. I expect a bill to be passed fairly quickly. I expect the market to respond positively to that passage. Whether that response will be as "severe" as today's is a bit less clear. I can say that there is a LOT of money sitting on the sidelines, waiting to feel that it is safe to get back in the water. The most aggressive will leap in, but the smart ones will only stick a toe or two in at first. Stocks *are* getting cheap. But there is much illness in the markets that has to work its way out - and no bailout can supplant the need for the process of actually getting healthy. Cancer takes aggressive, risky medicine - and the process is VERY painful, with ugly side-effects. Addicts go through withdrawal. Well, we're so addicted to credit that we have the DTs. And we may have cancer from our long-term exposure to a credit-driven lifestyle. Again, NONE of this should be construed or interpreted as advice.

Challenging times in financial markets

2008-09-15T15:40:00.002-04:00

What can one say, but "Wow." You may recall that I mentioned last summer that the bill was overdue. The "late fee" has been quite painful! It does not appear that the pain will end quickly, either. I'm sad that the ongoing greed of many "leaders" has led to such turmoil and loss by so many.

Hurricanes on Wall Street, hurricanes in the Gulf, hurricanes in Texas, God have mercy! May we seek to be faithful stewards of each blessing and each ministry opportunity that God gives us.

Wow.

CrossFit accomplishments

2008-08-25T11:23:00.002-04:00

I had a good end-of-the-week with CrossFit.

On Thursday I set a PR on deadlift - 325 lbs. I probably could have done more, but I had taken so many 10 lb. steps to get to 325 that I was fatigued. Regardless, that's more than I've ever pulled before, by quite a bit! The big breakthrough was figuring out my grip such that I could confidently lift that heavy without risk of dropping the bar.

On Friday, I did the "Helen" workout and finished nearly 5 minutes faster than the last time, about 1 month ago. Cool!

Yesterday I got my first muscle-up! Plus 4 more! Woo hoo! I thought it would take me a bit longer to develop this skill. I had Lauren "video" the 2nd one I ever did with her digital camera, but the clip is quite dark. I think the file is also too big to post to Blogger.

So I'm making progress. I have my next nuclear stress test in November - they'll have to turn off the machine before I ask them to let me stop!

BTW, do you know why it is called a "nuclear stress test?" Because if it were called "double radioactive injection into your bloodstream stress test" it would not be as well accepted.

Two words

2008-08-14T15:54:00.003-04:00

To revisit a mode of blog post from a few months ago...

Here are two words, the use of which I would like to SEVERELY restrict.

1. "Awesome" - My wife correctly states that only God is awesome. At best, other things are "cool" or "good" - but definitely do not make the cut for what "awesome" should represent.

2. "Like" - Do I have to explain? This word is a HIGHLY CONTAGIOUS VIRUS. I hear so many adults misusing this word in EXACTLY the same way a "Valley Girl" did 25 years ago. It is not just kids.

"He was like, being SO lazy. So she was like, 'Get up and HELP ME!' It was like, sooooo uncomfortable."

In the immortal words of Count Rugen, "STOP SAYING THAT!"

Was it LIKE that, or was it THAT? Did he SAY THAT or only something SIMILAR TO THAT? My wife says this is like "ummmm" in that the speaker is having a brain cramp and feels compelled to keep the mouth moving until the brain un-cramps. We actually instituted a "Like Tax" in our house this summer - for every misuse of "like" the offender must pay 10 cents. I should have enough for a nice dinner out for my wife and me, if folks would, like, PAY the tax. (grin)

CrossFit

2008-08-01T10:22:00.002-04:00

This has been reflected from other bloggers - I am a CrossFit devotee. While this sounds like it might be a cool camp theme, it is simply the best exercise program I have ever seen or used. Go to CrossFit and check it out. The intensity level at which you are expected to push yourself consistently is something you've probably only done a few times with other workouts. The results are quick to manifest, and continue beyond your expectation. You will STAY humbled by the workouts. They are relentless. You will also feel the best sense of accomplishment when you just complete some of them, or as you decrease your time for a specific workout.

The site works on an "open source" model - it's all free. (There are "CrossFit Affiliate" gyms all over the country, where you can pay for training/guidance.) There are TONS of demonstration videos of the specific exercises (so you can learn techniques), and of the Workouts of the Day (WODs) being performed (usually at a very high level). You can sign up to have the WOD delivered in several formats.

There are calisthenics components, gymnastics components, Olympic lift/weightlifting components, and running/rowing components. (this may not be a comprehensive list) Every exercise modality is stressed beyond your current capability. Some of the moves sound so simple and easy on paper. Uh, nope. If you truly follow the methodology, you will be 'sucking wind' at the end of every workout. Hard. Wondering who took all the oxygen out of the room.

HIGHEST recommendation! At my age (nearing 46) I'm at last getting a two-pack! (grin) Maybe it'll be up to 4 before the holidays...

An (in)auspicious anniversary, and other stuff

2008-07-25T09:03:00.002-04:00

One year ago today I was waking up (like I actually slept!) in the CCU at Kennestone Hospital. I had 2 stents and LOTS of medications in my body. The various monitors that were hooked to me were concerned about various things throughout the night, but the diagnosis was very positive. Automatically having your blood pressure checked every 15 minutes does tend to interfere with any significant or meaningful sleep.

So yesterday, on the anniversary of my heart attack, I went out to run the same course where my MI started. It was, again, a lovely day. About 85 this time, with 50% humidity. The run was still not easy, but more from an emotional/psychological perspective this time. I stopped at the same bench to pray again - and not a very different prayer than a year ago - except to thank Him and to acknowledge that if I have ever found favor in His eyes it is only due to Jesus, because He sees me as washed and clean though I am far from clean on my own.

As I look back on the experience, several things jump out. The outpouring of love and support for my family was deeply moving and humbling. The beta-blocker-induced depression was simply inexpressibly nasty. I am so thankful to not be on that medication. I am very empathetic toward anyone suffering with depression. And "suffering" is absolutely the right term. It was also interesting (fascinating, even) to see the different ways my family dealt with my near demise.

I am still looking for how this experience will inform my ministry. I am thankful to have found CrossFit as my exercise regimen. It has allowed me to develop a level of fitness I have never experienced before, and especially it has allowed me to trust my body as I push myself harder than I ever have. I have never enjoyed (or dreaded!) workouts as much as I do these. But my wife quickly noticed changes in my body, and the changes continue. I have integrated specific exercise skills into my goals for the next year. I really like one of the Marine Corps sayings as it applies to exercise and fitness - "Pain is weakness leaving the body." Cool.

We had a good Polutta family vacation at Emerald Isle, NC. The house we stayed in was wonderful. The beach was... different. The slant to the sand was quite severe, so the waves traveled about 10 feet and just ended. Not a lot of fun to play in the ocean. I guess I'm spoiled by Charleston and the wide, flat beaches. However, the water was (surprisingly) a lovely blue-green color, not the muddy greenish brown of the Atlantic for most of the east coast. Except for the last day, when Cristobal was near, the weather was nearly perfect. Emerald Isle does need more and better restaurants, but this was a minor quibble. It was good to get away, and good to be with family. I love you all.

School starts again quite soon. Natalie is working hard to be ready. We wrestle especially with how best to prepare Lauren for the next phase - she needs to "step it up" a bit, so we're probably going to be pushing harder than she will like. Well, TOUGH! (wink, grin) Something about fire and refining comes to mind...

God bless you all. May each of you walk in His light.

The market

2008-07-11T12:42:00.003-04:00

Wow. It really hurts when bills become overdue. The interest and penalty can be painful. This is where we are now. As I mentioned last summer, the down move was overdue. Well, here we are.

Ouch.

And I do not think that the down is over. Unless there is some intervention, the down will continue a bit longer. It may get a LOT worse, but I'm hoping not.

Given all the tensions (geopolitical and other) in the world, and the pending election here - there are a lot of variables in play. I hope you know how to insure your investments against loss. (It can be done.)

Holiday weekend, vacation soon!

2008-07-07T10:21:00.003-04:00

We had a good visit with Natalie's folks over the weekend. We didn't "go and do" a lot - painting and home repairs, yard work, pool time, some fireworks. Laid back and enjoyable.

We had an excellent time Sunday morning. 2 baptisms, great worship, a very good message. For the most part I feel very good about Burnt Hickory. Some lingering leadership questions, but otherwise it is all good.

I'm looking forward to some beach time!

A new birth!

2008-06-28T22:24:00.008-04:00

I just completed my first guitar where I made the body completely from scratch. It is a hollow mahogany body with a makore (a.k.a. African Cherry) top. Here she is.

Here's a shot of the body showing the figure in the makore. This is just clear lacquer over the top - that is the actual color of the makore. It is beautiful. I had several options for the top, and this is the one Lauren chose. I think she chose well.

The back I made a DARK reddish brown, like an old Les Paul.

The neck is a Warmoth Fatback of birdseye and rosewood. I'm in the process of making my first neck from scratch, but it isn't ready yet. I had this neck and just couldn't resist putting them together. So far it sounds really good, though I haven't really gotten to take it for a spin yet. She has some inexpensive pickups from GFS, and a P-style Megaswitch, so it has the same 5 pickup options as a PRS, but in a Telecaster shape. I just love Teles!

I already have the next one in the works (also a Telecaster shape - but this one will be a deep set neck, not a bolt-on). It is SO much fun playing a guitar I made!

Social networking

2008-06-26T11:29:00.002-04:00

So I've taken my first step into "social networking." Not sure what I think about it yet. It is interesting. I keep getting "friends" - most of them via PBC connections. That part is cool. I don't have a sense for what it will develop into as of yet - just an experiment at this point.

Primarily, I'm doing this as a test to see if it is something we want to open up to the kids. I know I keep saying this, but - I don't know...

God's Big Backyard

2008-06-24T09:47:00.004-04:00

"Hey-yo, it's a big backyard."

It's VBS week! We're having fun (and working hard) showing kids how to serve - family, neighbors, and in the process, Jesus. We're showing skits, puppets, and songs, making crafts, sharing food and fun. All 4 of us are involved - but only one of us as a student!

I've seen this VBS program advertised in other places. It does seem to be put together well. We have picked and chosen from the program, we are not implementing all of it. However, I think we've chosen well. It does make for some rather late nights - and I'm having a hard time going to sleep afterwards, which is odd given the level of exertion during the sessions. One more and we're basically done - Wednesday night we're just having a "Backyard Bash" (watermelon and ice cream social).

This is our Children's Minister's first "big" project. It is going very well, and I'm proud to be working with her.

"Hey-yo, a really BIG backyard!"

Some responses and further thought

2008-06-23T13:42:00.003-04:00

Danny - Being director is sometimes mutually exclusive to direct worship participation - or "anything else" participation, for that matter. Your job is to facilitate the spiritual experience of others. If you get some spiritual experiences along the way, BONUS! Your "food is to do the will of Him who sent you." Know what I mean?

Becky - Yeah, some of the songs might have been unfamiliar, but over the course of the week I did not see the participation level change much. Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky, but I think we need to expect more of the campers. Mike was an excellent worship leader. I was very proud of him. I think he learned a lot, too.

My younger daughter was crying a few days ago, just because she missed camp. I love it.

It was a Super Week

2008-06-17T08:17:00.002-04:00

We had a fantastic week at PBC SuperWeek. It is the first week that I can remember where we had no rain. There was a threat of rain once..... ONCE. It may have sprinkled for 3 minutes. Otherwise it was just hot, especially early in the week. By Thursday the weather was more normal for June in the upstate, with highs in the low 90s and lows in the high 60s.

It was, I will admit, every bit as weird for me as I thought it would be. I participated in BlastOff, I organized the Talent Show, I participated in a lot of skits, I cleaned the Bath House, I played ball, I helped teach the youngest class. Though it sounds like I was very busy, and I was, it felt different somehow. I'm sure that part of this feeling was simply not knowing the program well and not having a lot of up-front understanding. A lot of it was also not being the Worship Director this year. I did get to lead some, but it was just taste. I missed it - a lot. More than I expected to.

I did enjoy spending more time with Natalie this year. I enjoyed the Talent Show a lot - except for it being the same day as Game Day. I give the "dinner theater" thing a B-. It was "interesting" to do dinner in the ark. It was a real hassle doing the talent show while folks were eating. I don't think it made the talent show better. At best it just made it different. Beyond that, the "dinner" setup was still in effect for chapel, and there was too much talking going on during chapel.

While on the subject of chapel - there was another difference that I noted. Too many of the campers (in my opinion) were not singing or otherwise engaged in the worship. To be blunt, there were several staff who were also not engaged in the worship. I don't get this. How can any staff person expect the kids to engage when they won't lead the kids there? I do not think any of this is a reflection of this year's Worship Director. I don't have an explanation. I will continue to say, though, that we really lost something in the singing/worship when the acoustic treatment was done to the ark. It's so weird. Skits are easier to hear. The speaker is easier to hear during chapel. But, try as we may, we cannot "raise the roof" with our singing like we used to. Frustrating. And confusing. And disappointing.

One other opinion - I think EVERY speaker for every assembly should be from within the staff. Some of the non-staff speakers were good, some not so much. But none of them did any better than our staff could have done, and none of them were helped by not being a part of the staff. The relational connection from the staff to the campers lends weight to the speaker's message. External folks just don't have that, so they have to be that much better just to "break even." None of the external folks were "that much better" so it was a net loss, in my humble opinion. I understand why we employed some of those external folks (strategic/political involvement), but I think that this does not serve the week as well as we would hope. Again, this is just my opinion.

I told Danny that I thought it was the best debut for a director I've ever seen. Of course, this is due in large part to the way this transition was planned and executed over the past few years. I look forward to how SuperWeek will grow and move forward.

I'm sure I'll have more thoughts about the week - maybe I'll even post some of them.

SuperWeek bound!

2008-06-04T08:02:00.003-04:00

It is time again for SuperWeek. As I have stated before, it will be an odd year, methinks. I hope it is fun also. But it will be different not being in such an up-front role as I have been. I will admit that I was surprised to not be asked to do SOME of the things I have done before, but it's okay. I wonder if some of the changes this year are simply for change's sake. I dunno. It's cool, though. Anything can (should) be questioned from time to time.

Please pray that everyone will travel safely and stay healthy during the week. Please pray that we will be a blessing to God and to the campers.

And PLEASE pray for good weather!!!

Kinda confusing

2008-05-28T11:56:00.001-04:00

How is it that the same folks who do not trust the (current) government to do ANYTHING good or right think that more government (with (undefined) *change*) is the answer?

Is the problem with government, or with the expectations?

Good Holiday - Near Miss - SuperWeek soon!

2008-05-27T10:53:00.004-04:00

Folks, I hope you all had an enjoyable holiday weekend. We did. Our grill was BUSY! We enjoyed significant time with our life group.

Please be in prayer for my dad. There was a natural gas mishap at the house, and he was adversely affected by the gas - and apparently he could not smell it. He is recovering.

Our family is excited (and a bit curious) about SuperWeek being near. I'm curious/unsettled about my role this year, as it is much less defined than in the past. The "new sheriff" is in town, so the "old guard" will be looking for the right roles going forward.

Regardless, the Talent Show should be fun. We're putting together a band for the Talent Show, for "bumper music" between the acts, and we'll do a few songs ourselves. My daughter, being MY daughter, will have the band backing her up for the song she is singing in the show. (Oh, did I mention that I am the "entry judge" to determine who gets in? ;-) Hey, she's been in the last several shows, so there really is no favoritism there. Just a "family opportunity" to have the band back her up. Should be a lot of fun - even with some of the challenges we'll have this year. Tuesday evening is your target!

On a roll...

2008-05-08T13:15:00.002-04:00

OK, since there was so much resonance with the previous post, here's something that my wife and I have noticed lately, this time in the spoken word.

Where have the double-t's gone? Words like written, kitten, etc. What we've been hearing is that the t's go silent. They are enunciated instead by momentarily holding your breath. "Wri - en" is how it comes out, with a millisecond interruption between the syllables. WHAT IS UP WITH THIS? Simply bizarre!

Grammar clarity vs. confusion

2008-05-02T11:07:00.003-04:00

I had a conversation at home yesterday (that did not go so well) but the topic is still a pet peeve, so here you go.

I think that "apostrophe s" is being SO overused in the printed word that clarity is suffering. I think "apostrophe s" should be primarily reserved to represent the possessive. It is used FAR too much, IMHO, for the "is" contraction.

"It's" is a contraction of it is. (BTW, "it's" is ONLY the contraction for it is. If what you are saying is not "it is" then DO NOT put the apostrophe there! I see this error EVERYWHERE!) But "Michael's" should mean "belongs to Michael" rather than "Michael is." As in, "Michael's house needs to be painted." Not, "Michael's going to get his house painted."

I actually consider this the transliteration of how the words are spoken. "Michael is," when said quickly (like most folks do), sounds like "Michael's."

Regardless, what I see lost in this common use of "apostrophe s" is clarity.

Your thoughts? Does anyone else care about such things?

AI last night

2008-04-24T08:46:00.003-04:00

I was the only person in my family not surprised that Carly was voted off. I have always thought she was "good" but there was something that did not convey with her - somehow the emotional connection was just not there. I also thought she spent to much time at the upper limit of her range, which became strident.

Jason chose poorly. Brooke started poorly. But they have built a fan base over the past few weeks that got them through this round, whereas I do not think that Carly ever did. She got through on the strength of her performance rather than on building a fan base. She did have one of the better performances, but still was lacking the audience connection.

In the end I expect it to come down to the two Davids. Jason, Brooke, Syesha - none of these can win. Jason is the closest to being a solo artist of those 3, in my opinion. Syesha should go straight to Broadway. Brooke has a shot too - but needs more of her own identity rather than being a contemporary Carole King.

What I enjoy the most is that our whole family is engaged in the process.

Rhetorical question

2008-04-21T19:59:00.001-04:00

How long until we move from the "our daughter spends ALL DAY on the phone" phase?

Answer: Just until the next one starts said phase...

Ahh, the joys of parenthood.

Shout to the Lord.......?

2008-04-14T11:14:00.004-04:00

I publicly admit that I watch American Idol. There, I said it. I enjoy seeing the performers grow (or not). It also gives me opportunities to coach Lauren on what is good and what is not from a performing perspective.

Last week's shows held an odd surprise for me. Though I did not watch the "gives back" show on Wednesday, on Thursday they did a lot (a LOT) of recap, including a reprise of their presentation of "Shout to the Lord." Yeah, THAT "Shout to the Lord." They sang it very well.

My deal is that I just don't know how to process that song from that source. There has been a lot of "Jesus" in the song choices this year, especially during Dolly Parton week. But this was not a choice by an individual singer from a specific song catalog - this was the SHOW's choice of song.

IIRC, when Mandisa sang a Christian-themed song a couple years ago Simon said she was being "indulgent." She was gone right after that.

I'm glad they sang it. I'm especially glad they sang it so well. I hope people were moved by the song and the message. I just have a little issue of credibility with them presenting that song...

Timing belt #5 coming right up!

2008-03-27T16:06:00.003-04:00

So the Mazda has crossed the 240K barrier. I thought this was cool.

She's still a great car, very reliable. I got 29mpg last week, and that's driving in the LOUSY Atlanta traffic.

My car is old enough to VOTE!

LONG LIVE THE MAZDA!

Okay, okay

2008-03-04T12:55:00.004-05:00

Well, Tommy, bless your heart. Don't know why, just haven't felt the pull to blog lately.

I'm still "mostly better." I can't seem to shake the occasional cough. It's been a month now.

I did decide to go back on the Lipitor as a further experiment. The fatigue I was feeling could have been from the virus. Nothing conclusive yet.

I'm working on making 2 guitars. Both will be Tele-shaped. Both will have mahogany bodies. I had planned to put a Bubinga top on one - Bubinga is a South American hardwood, VERY beautiful. But as I was trimming it to shape (about 95% complete) a big piece snapped off. I have no idea how to repair it. I'll set it aside and see if my woodworking skills develop to the point that I CAN repair it.

I have folks at church who have excellent woodworking tools (one runs a cabinet shop). I have some curly maple being prepped for guitar tops (like a Les Paul). I also have an African wood called Makore being prepped for tops also. We'll see what comes of that.

One of the guitars will have a bolt-on neck like a regular Tele. I already have a neck bought from Warmoth to put on it. The other will be a glued-in neck. This will be the first time I actually make the neck. I plan to glue the neck WAY into the body - beyond where the strings pass through the body. Assuming I can pull this off, it should be very cool. The neck blank is laminated, the center being Purpleheart, the outer edges being mahogany. As they get closer to being guitars I'll post some pictures.

Lauren is adjusting to braces. Not much fun there. I think it makes her look just a little bit older.

Lauren and I will be performing at our church on Saturday. We will be at the "Backlot Film Festival" where several folks from Burnt Hickory show 5 minute films they made. We will be one of the live entertainment performances between movies. She is singing "I Don't Regret" by Barlow Girl, and I'm accompanying her on guitar. She'll probably sing this song at PBC also.

That's all for now, I guess. Hope you are all well.

Sorry for the pause...

2008-02-08T07:51:00.000-05:00

I've been sick. It was a virus that acted just like strep throat. I'm mostly better now.

Related - I am on a temporary hiatus from Lipitor. I had begun experiencing a persistent, all-over muscle soreness and weariness, which is a known side effect for a small percentage of Lipitor users. I'll be off of it for 2 weeks and see if the soreness subsides. It seems to be lessening already. We'll see what all this means...

Well, who else can I vote for who will quit? Yes, I voted for Romney on Super Tuesday. Oh, well.

Lauren gets braces next week. Yippee! Should be fun.

A wild news day

2008-01-22T14:27:00.000-05:00

The Federal Reserve makes a historic emergency interest rate cut of 3/4 point.

The Dow opens down 460 points, and is recovered to -100 (or better) by 2pm.

Fred Thompson drops out of the presidential race.

Wow.

Almost a teen

2008-01-18T08:48:00.000-05:00

I can hardly believe that my older daughter is about to be a teen. It feels as though it has all happened so quickly. Though we still spend too much time (though not as much) dealing with "drama," she is definitely maturing... in fits and spurts.

She seems to have come through the "physically awkward" stage just fine. She carries herself with a grace that impresses me. Her loyalty to her friends is most admirable. She is a lot of fun, and she even laughs at my humor. (In fact, humor is how I am often able to help her fix a bad mood.)

Is she perfect? Uh, no. Her room is often a MESS! (there's a unique complaint) She wrestles at times with remembering that we (Natalie and I) are the parents (another unique one). I want to inspire and help motivate her to push herself more. I do not want a habit of laziness to take root. All that said...

She is a beautiful young lady, and I love her very much. I am very proud to be her dad.

Is it a recession?

2008-01-15T08:44:00.000-05:00

Has the economy started shrinking? What do you think?

If so, what do you think caused it?

Back in the saddle

2008-01-02T09:44:00.000-05:00

Happy 2008!

We made it home last Saturday. It was another good (long) trip. Very little traffic. A most interesting difference from other recent trips. Both the girls have small DVD players. Usually they both "zone out" and watch movies the entire trip. This time, Rachel still did that, but Lauren did not. She did not watch a single movie. There were some extended times of "just being," but for much of the trip she talked with us. It was very nice. I really like it when we can just talk, or just be quiet together. Addiction to entertainment (or, addiction to being entertained) is something we all struggle with, I think.

So now it is time to get back to work...

Be a blessing!

Safely in Maryland

2007-12-23T16:14:00.000-05:00

We had a long drive yesterday, but the traffic was quite agreeable and we made it in under 12 hours, including 6 stops along the way (only 1 of which was to eat). Everyone traveled pretty well, though. I hope we have a good week - I'm glad to have the change of scenery. I haven't been away very much since my heart attack.

We listened to a very interesting book, The Giver, by Lois Lowry. It was an allegory of communism and the innate human qualities that are disposed of in the process. Yet those qualities cannot be denied - so there is a very interesting adaption by that community. The girls were very uncomfortable with the description of the society, especially in the beginning, but it led to some interesting discussions after the book was done.

We really enjoy audio books on long trips - especially when you can finish the book! Once we stayed in the car an extra 10 minutes so we could finish the book before we finished the trip!

Third-hand Christmas List

2007-12-13T15:14:00.000-05:00

Secondhand Christmas List

Pinched from Larry Salley

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper, hands down. If you can't RIP the package open it ain't a Christmas gift!

2. Real tree or artificial? I'm content with our artificial tree for now. Our next one will be pre-lit. If only the Frasier Fir scent could be genuinely captured...

3. When do you put up the tree? Shortly after Thanksgiving.

4. When do you take the tree down? Usually the week after Christmas.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Wow, hard to pick one that stands out. Bike, I guess. Every bike I remember (3 of them) I got as a Christmas gift.

7. Have a nativity scene? Sure, why not?

8. Hardest person to buy for? Well, I only shop for one, really. She is VERY hard to find a suitable gift for, but I have ZERO problems buying for her. Besides her, my kid's grandparents.

9. Easiest person to buy for? Older daughter.

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Don't really have one that jumps to mind.

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mail. It's a hassle, though. We're just too busy.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? Miracle On 34th Street - the original one in black & white.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? As soon as she tells me what she wants!

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? No way.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? The casserole we have on Christmas morning. I just love breakfast food, and that is always a VERY happy breakfast. The first cup of coffee on Christmas morning is also my favorite cup of coffee all year.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Clear, but ours are frosted. Which is nice.

17. Favorite Christmas song? "The Christmas Song" (Chestnuts roasting...) Though almost NONE of my personal Christmas experience is reflected in the lyric, growing up in Charleston, and in the CoC. (grin)

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? Let's not discuss this.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yes. Especially if you let me sing them...

20. Angel on top of the tree or star? Angel

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? One on Eve, the rest in the morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? The ads. Well, that and REALLY RUDE shoppers.

23. What I love most about Christmas? Waking up next to my wife that morning, then seeing the joy on our girls' faces.

24. Best Christmas dessert? Chocolate covered pretzels. Actually any time of year. Dark chocolate only, please. (or white - just NOT milk chocolate!)

Volatility!

2007-12-13T09:59:00.000-05:00

Wow - the stock market is jumping all over the place!

Overall I'm quite pleased with what the Fed has done. Some market observers have stated that there is NOT a "credit crunch" - that there is credit available to worthy borrowers. There has been a liquidity issue though, and the Fed's action is working to address that directly. Rate cuts do not work directly (or immediately) on the availability of liquidity. Most "pundits" agree that rate cuts take 6-9 months to REALLY work through the economy. The stock market tends to react immediately to rate cuts because the stock market is almost always reacting to an upcoming event. "Surprise" current events are usually not good for the market. For instance - "upside guidance" - when companies project the next quarter's earnings to be better than expected - will always pop a stock up in price, because the market is responding to the FUTURE earnings. However, an earnings miss for THIS quarter usually punishes a stock dramatically, because this is usually a bad surprise.

Beyond that, I'm strangely comforted that the stock market did not get what it wanted. Healthy markets go up and down. But the market always WANTS to go up. Most folks only understand how to make money going UP. But many stupid decisions have been made over the past few years without any reckoning. Well, it is time for those folks (and many others) to pay the piper. I am not being vindictive, this is simply an important part of the market becoming healthy. If the next year or two are to be as good as possible, we need to get this infection out of the system. As I've said before, deferred payments are higher payments.

In the meantime - it is best if you know how to make money when the market MOVES, not just when it rises.

Trade well!

Free markets? (and other stuff)

2007-12-07T09:27:00.000-05:00

Larry said - "Question--what do you think of the proposed subprime bailout?"

I hate it.

I have yet to see one example of the government meddling in the free market that was not a disincentive to responsibility.

I am not without empathy for those truly taken advantage of by unscrupulous lenders. I do not think there are as many of those as some of the "talking heads" on CNBC have said. More than that, though, is the lesson that will NOT be learned by not having to absorb the real consequences for stupidity.

Related, but different - I am not sure whether or not the market is yet "healthy." The market is addicted to the crack of Fed funds rate cuts. Things are "awful, we need another 50 basis point cut NOW!" Yet we are only about 500 points below our all-time high. I do not see the crisis that many on CNBC see. My preference would be for next week's FOMC meeting to decide to leave the rates alone. Given the jobs market, the apparent resilience of the consumer, and the government intervention in the housing market, I don't see the need for a further stimulus at this time. I actually think the Fed will cut rates - but I would prefer that they did not.

Totally unrelated - I'm just not feeling the "Christmas Spirit" so far this year. I don't know why. Perhaps the weather has played a part - "Oh, the weather outside is spring-like..." It is supposed to hit 72 degrees this weekend.

Totally unrelated - I'm really enjoying working with our Praise Team. There is a fresh energy in the group that is really encouraging me. Our church family is struggling to figure out how to be more outward-focused. But I feel our PT can help by helping our family rally around our corporate worship times. I am also very blessed to be a part of our small group. I love those people!

It was a long time coming

2007-11-16T10:56:00.000-05:00

The down move I've been predicting in the stock market is most definitely happening now. It did take a long time coming - longer than it should have. I think this means that it will be more severe than it could have been if it had happened earlier. It's like a late fee if you miss your payment. The longer you wait, the more the penalty.

The market wants to ALWAYS go up. Of course, this is not reasonable, but it is what the market wants. If you read up on the credit issues, you will learn that things were levered several times over. What I mean is this: the original loans were used to secure other credit. Then THOSE loans were used to secure other credit. Then THOSE loans were used to secure other credit. As I understand it, there were at least 4 levels of credit built on top of the original loans. Sadly, many of those loans were subprime. If the foundation of this "house of cards" even cracks a bit, things begin to tumble. The Fed rate cut in August and the double-cut in September served as some scaffolding on the house of cards, but scaffolding will not hold up a skyscraper.

It is getting to the point where the Fed has no real tools available. The dollar is getting so weak (RECORD weakness) that further cuts may accelerate inflation. At some level the bad debt needs to work its way out of the system. But not cutting rates can exacerbate the market's loss of confidence - and the entire credit industry is built primarily on confidence. Without that confidence, credit becomes very difficult to acquire. Plus, real estate values are falling in most of the country, so many recent mortgages are "upside down" and getting worse. If the values fall far enough it becomes the "smart" thing to do to just walk away from the mortgage. Ugh.

Find a way to preserve your capital value.

I'll try to answer

2007-11-12T11:32:00.001-05:00

My friend Paul Murphy (whom I respect a great deal) commented with some questions that I would like to try to answer.

Paul said -
Mike I have a question.
The other day I was thinking about our worship service. I keep finding things that catch my attention.

1. What's up with a praise team? I'm not sure I get the purpose. Is it like a guitar for the acappella service?

I think the point of a PT is to have each part represented in "the mix." Especially for larger congregations/gatherings, if you aren't sitting near folks who are singing "your part" and you are not musically inclined, you'll likely default to singing the melody. Nothing wrong with that, but a big part of our heritage is 4-part harmony. Especially as many congregations have moved to lyrics on slides (rather than song books) it is good (I would say "necessary") to have all 4 parts in the PA.

Note that if you're singing with a guitar you are not singing what the guitar is doing exactly. The guitarist is likely strumming chords, but you would be singing a melody line over the chords. Whereas, with a PT, the intent IS to sing exactly what your part is singing on the PT.

Another important point for the PT is to give the people who are gifted musically a good way to use their gift for God's glory and to bless their church family. As a bit of a musician, it has been TREMENDOUSLY HARD for me to feel fulfilled in our tribe. For too many folks there is no place for most of my musical gifts in their congregation. I am quite sure that many other musicians in our tribe feel the same way.

Those who want to say the singers are "performing" are simply being insulting. Is the preacher "performing"? How about the adult class teacher? To have them assign malice to the singer's intent hurts so much, I can tell you.

2. What's up with music with notes? I find myself pressured to sing the right notes. It bothers me when I'm not singing the notes on the screen. Should I throw away the song book?
My opinion is YES! Throw it away! I can tell you that the leader wants to see your eyes from time to time more than he wants you singing "the right notes." He hopes that the PT helps you find the right notes, though. (grin)
I hope you understand that those notes are the "language" of music. Imagine if you had a group of 4 people trying to read John 3:16 in unison - except one has KJV, one has NIV, one has RSV, and one has "The Message." If they all read at the same time, NOBODY will be blessed by that reading - in fact, it might hurt the purpose/intent. Same with the notes. Make sense?

3. Does how a service sound affect its quality? At least to some people?
If the singing sounds bad then everyone with a musical ear has a nearly impossible time engaging their hearts in worship. Is this the question you are asking?

A good report

2007-11-09T15:02:00.001-05:00

I met with my doctor to discuss my blood work and my emotions.

First, my cholesterol is WAY down, at about 123, with HDL and LDL basically even. Triglycerides are also way down from earlier levels. The only concern point relates to the liver enzyme, which was a bit elevated (out of range). This will be rechecked in 1 month, and if it is still elevated/trending up then we will likely want to reduce the Lipitor dose. I am currently taking the largest Lipitor available, the 80mg dose. Again, with the exception of the liver enzyme number, simply a stellar blood work report.

As for the emotions - my doctor's hunch was that this is a delayed post-trauma reaction. However, to prove whether or not the beta blocker (Atenolol) was causing the depression, I am in a 2-week hiatus from Atenolol. What I can say now is that I will likely never take that medication again for the rest of my life. It took about 3 days for the last dose to work its way out of my system, but last Wednesday "the sun came out" and I've been able to feel almost normal (whatever that is) again.

I had my Nuclear Stress Test on Tuesday. It was hard, but I took it to the top level of exertion before turning it down. I also had an echo done. I will review these with my doc next Friday (a week from today) and I'm hopeful that he will release me for full exercise. In the meantime I am able to return to the gym, I just have to take it easy until I talk with him next week.

Things are looking up!

Another day, another year, another...

2007-10-22T14:26:00.000-04:00

This is the 10th anniversary of the only birthday that has ever bothered me. On that birthday - perhaps that very day - my metabolism shifted WAY down VERY suddenly. Before then, I could eat any amount of any food at any time of day and not gain an ounce. That ended like a flash of lightning. I could bounce back from injury quickly. Gone. I could stay up late and hardly pay for it at all. Over.

This time I'm just trying to be thankful. Perspective changes - I hope for the wiser.

Emotions have been mostly better lately. The valleys are not as deep, nor do they last as long. I have an appt. coming up with my cardiologist, and we will talk about this, among other things. I want my Lipitor dose to come down. I'm taking the 80mg dose, which is the largest one they make. My cholesterol was not THAT high to start with. I do not want to risk liver damage to lower a cholesterol number that wasn't ALL that high to begin with. We'll see what he says.

Emotions

2007-10-07T22:27:00.000-04:00

I've had a hard time coming up with something to blog about for some time, mostly because I've found that I'm wrestling with my emotions in ways I did not anticipate. I feel like a dark cloud is over me (or at least over my emotional center) a lot of the time. For no discernible reason. It is SO easy to be SO negative about EVERYTHING. I have been told that wrestling with emotions is a "normal" part of the post-heart-attack process. That may be. I don't like it. At all.

For example, we just returned from the ZOE Conference in Nashville. It was a wonderful and challenging experience - mostly. Again, the emotions. There were a couple times when I struggled just to stand with everyone else singing - and I found that I just could not sing. I was moved to tears a couple times, and ended up being able to sing (once the LUMP in my throat subsided), but there were other times when I just could not give myself over to the praise. I had nothing to offer. Just pain. It felt like something inside me was broken. (my heart, maybe?)

My prayers at this time are shifting to mostly undefined lament. I am totally counting on the Spirit to translate, because I have no idea what this is about.

I don't know. I'm not quite sure why I'm putting this information onto the Web, even. But it is where I find myself at this time. My wonderful wife is being very supportive and understanding. She is so good to me.

This is hard.

VERY disappointed in the Fed

2007-09-18T15:14:00.001-04:00

The FOMC lowered the Funds rate AND the Discount rate by 50 basis points each (half a percent). The stock market has exploded to the upside. We are now about 300 points below the all-time high.

Don't look now, but this REALLY sets up the market for a hard fall. I really dislike being so "bearish" about things. But folks are pretending that things are okay, or that they're okay now that the rates were cut. They are not.

I hope that when the true correction comes it does not hurt too many people too badly. Remember October 1987?

35 reasons I love my wife

2007-09-18T11:39:00.000-04:00

1. She is beautiful.
2. She loves me.
3. She forgives me.
4. She tolerates me.
5. She laughs at my jokes.
6. She is a fantastic mom.
7. She loves our girls.
8. She is a wonderful teacher.
9. She is a great cook.
10. She loves Jesus.
11. She is faithful.
12. She is thrifty.
13. She works harder than just about anyone I know.
14. She is unselfish.
15. She reads her Bible every day.
16. She is a great example for our girls for how to be a great wife and mother.
17. She gets and sends cards for all family events.
18. She enjoys the ZOE Conference as much as I do.
19. She is an excellent listener.
20. She is an encourager.
21. She is a gentle reprimander.
22. Her passions run DEEP.
23. She is committed to me.
24. She is committed to our family.
25. She has a gentle spirit.
26. None of your business!
27. My family loves her.
28. She goes to PBC for me and the girls.
29. She "blesses" the house every Friday.
30. She teaches other children with love.
31. She loves the Bible.
32. She is a great friend.
33. She has a wonderful laugh.
34. She has a beautiful smile.
35. She is continually striving to be more like Jesus.

Happy Birthday, my beloved!

Groove

2007-09-04T08:40:00.000-04:00

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend.

It's time to settle into a "groove" for the Fall. We will have several events coming within the next few weeks also. Natalie's birthday, Rachel's birthday, our trip to ZOE among them.

I have 3 more classes in Raleigh and that will be done. It's hard to believe I'm 3/4 done with that class! Fantastic info, and I am very eager to begin the process of moving toward complete financial independence!

"Normal" life

2007-08-26T20:46:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm trying to get back into a more "normal" flow of things.

I began "Cardiac Rehab" last Wednesday, which is a monitored exercise program. Apparently I still have some tachycardia going, which is where my heart rate jumps WAY up for 5-10 beats then comes right back down. The rehab folks were going to send the recording of my heart to my cardiologist for review.

I also started back to work last Wednesday. I'm only allowed half-days for the first week, so I have 2 more half-days to go. I kinda like the half-days!

I sang with the Praise Team this morning (even though I did not get there in time for rehearsal). It was good to get back to that also.

Tomorrow I change 2 medications - I go to the 81mg dose of aspirin (as a blood thinner), and my beta blocker switches from Coreg to Atenolol. Y'know, I'd REALLY prefer if "they" KNEW what causes heart disease. It seems to me that no one actually KNOWS. I dislike taking medications for symptoms, without actually KNOWing (much less TREATing) the actual problem, the actual cause. For instance, I'm taking Lipitor for cholesterol (in the biggest dose they make!), but my cholesterol number is about 180, which is in the "normal" range. Why is it, if the same blood flows through EVERY artery (and vein) in my body, that it only seems to cause a problem in the coronary arteries? This is illogical to me. Oh, well - I guess I can howl at the moon from time to time...

At this point I just have to live with the possibility that this kind of thing (my heart attack) could recur at ANY time. And hope in the meantime that I do not have issues with my medications.

STOCK MARKET NOTES - I am getting concerned again about this market. I do not believe that the "correction" completed its cycle. We are just 1 week away from the low of the correction, and we've already recovered MORE than half of the correction! I really don't think that qualifies. I do not think that down is over. I do not think (especially based on how the market behaved on Friday) that it is a healthy market yet. I believe the Fed rate action has created a "false market." We are back to where bad news is ignored - and there was PLENTY of bad news on Friday, and NONE of it mattered. I truly hope we do not have to have a crash or mini-crash in order to get healthy. The next 2 months will tell the tale.

Disappointed in the Fed

2007-08-17T19:23:00.000-04:00

I REALLY would have preferred that the Fed leave interest rates alone. I truly feel that the market needed to "consolidate" a bit at the lower level before rebounding. I have to wonder if the Fed caved to the pressure from the talking heads on TV.

I really believe that the free market lost when the Fed stepped in so quickly. Honestly, most of the mortgage mess is due to UTTER STUPIDITY in lending. The folks that did that SHOULD be punished by the market. Not to mention that we were SO overdue for a 10% correction, so this was part of the market getting healthy.

Oh, well. What's done is done. We'll still trade no matter what. If the down had been "uglier" the up would have been better too. Now I wonder if the "getting healthy" process will be complete. This is not a natural market bottom. At the same time, given that this was a sudden change in policy from the Fed, I have to wonder if the credit issues are larger than anyone really thinks.

Yup, market is going down!

2007-08-03T22:41:00.000-04:00

It waited longer than it should have, but the stock market is GOING DOWN! I believe it will continue (not in a straight line) for the next several weeks.

It needs to do this to be "healthy" - healthy markets go up and down, but up overall. This one has gone up and up and up and up and up except for one time in late February. This correction was overdue. I'm glad it is happening. I hope you all are not hurt too much by it. You may be able to move your 401k to a money market account to wait for the down to end... then get back into the "normal" funds when down is over.

If we hadn't gotten this significant down, October would have been VERY dicey. Thank goodness we did not have to go through that!

A good report!

2007-08-03T21:57:00.001-04:00

Natalie and I met with my cardiologist this morning. (I'm still not used to the phrase "my cardiologist.") Everything is looking very good. There is very little damage remaining to my heart muscle. Just one area near the top that isn't squeezing like it should be, but he expects that to continue to improve and for my heart to eventually reach near 100% function. I should have zero long-term implications from this event. I WILL be on meds for the rest of my life - an aspirin a day, and cholesterol medication. The rest will go away over time.

For the medically savvy - my stent is NOT a drug-eluting stent, just a cobalt-chromium uncoated stent. He said he did this procedure "by the book" so that's all good! Since the stent is non-coated, I will be taking Plavix for only a year or so. I will soon be switching my beta blocker from Coreg to Atenolol. Lisinopril will continue for some time.

I am so thankful to be so well cared for - medically and otherwise!

For the morbidly curious...

2007-07-30T17:28:00.000-04:00

This is the "before" picture. NOT a happy heart.

This is the after picture. MUCH happier heart, though now a bit "irritable."

The artery is called the "left anterior descending," or LAD. Based on what I've read online, it supplies the largest chamber of the heart with about 78% of its blood. It was 100% blocked. It is not now.

I thank God.

Jiggety Jig!

2007-07-28T20:14:00.000-04:00

And the first part of that would be.... "Home again, Home again!"

I'm very happy to say that I have been discharged as of about 3pm today. I have a RAFT of meds now - and, to my chagrin, some will be long-term. I'm just not fond of the idea of long-term meds, but I don't get a vote on this.

I took a GOOD nap after we got home. Best sleep I've gotten in several days, and I didn't even have chemical assistance. We're about to eat - salmon, this time. I'm going to have ISSUES with this low-sodium thing. I've always thought that the quantity of water that I drink on a daily basis (1.5 gallons minimum) would appease the demons of sodium. I have research to do to verify this now! Meanwhile, I guess I'll just become a dietary curmudgeon and complain about everything that WOULD TASTE BETTER with a little salt. And cheese.

I will not be going to church tomorrow - pretty sure I'd be overwhelmed with well-wishers. No medium is adequate to express my appreciation to everyone, and I know that in-person would be best, but I just know that I'd have a BAD day for the rest of the day. Just not ready for the exertion.

I have a road ahead that is more uncertain, yet clearer in the most important ways. Guess what - I STILL need your prayers, for me and for my family. I can hardly wait to hug each of you.

Not bright, just early

2007-07-28T06:28:00.000-04:00

Oh, well. They just came in to take my vitals at around 5:30 and now I can't get back to sleep. I think I'm a little nervous about going home - not being monitored like I have been. It is probably "normal" to not trust my heart very much at this point. But I'd REALLY rather be asleep right now. Perhaps in a little while... just laying there awake was making me mad.

For the record, I am not complaining that they check my vitals - it's WAY better than trying to sleep with an automatic cuff on that checks every 30 minutes (or less). I hated that thing.

Friday evening update

2007-07-27T21:57:00.001-04:00

I'm happy to say that I had a MUCH better day today. Things in my chest seem to have stabilized. My energy level was much better also, and the fatigue that was hitting me so suddenly yesterday didn't really occur today. For the most part the visitation was lighter today - very few folks until evening. Though that may sound bad, it was really very good. Natalie and I had more time to just talk, and I didn't get overwhelmed by feeling like I had to stay "up" when folks were here.

I have truly appreciated every extension of love, kindness, and support you have shown me and my family. I will likely fail in expressing a personal thanks to every one of you, but I intend to try.

The only "negative" for today actually began last evening - the phlebitis I mentioned in my post this morning. It hasn't really gone down much at all. I have had a few warm compresses on it, which feel GREAT for a moment, but don't give any long-lasting relief. I have been waiting quite a while for an ultrasound assessment of the site - to make sure there is not a clot that could release and go somewhere to cause a problem. I mean, SOMETHING is blocking SOMETHING, and it does NOT feel good. However, if they aren't concerned I guess I shouldn't be either. I have enough chemicals in my system keeping my blood thin that it won't be a problem, I suppose. Hurts, though. Really tender. OK, that's enough complaining from me!

The most amazing thing to me about this hospital is the multi-national work force. I have had folks taking care of me from Nigeria, Kenya, Jamaica, the Philippines, Ghana, oh, and Missouri and Georgia. They've all been terrific.

Current expectations are that I will be discharged tomorrow. I'm REALLY ready to be home.
I wonder if that ultrasound will show up in my room around 1am...

Love to all. Really.

Friday morning update

2007-07-27T10:56:00.001-04:00

If they weren't writing the day and date on the wall whiteboard I would be having a very hard time keeping track of what day it is.

I had a good night of rest. I did stay up a little later than I intended because I needed them to move the I.V. "stick" from my left elbow (where it had been since I was admitted on Tuesday) because my upper arm is red, swollen, and very tender. There was some miscommunication so the I.V. nurse did not come right away. Nonetheless, my I.V. is now in my right hand and I'm hoping that the phlebitis (what they called the red, swollen, tenderness in my arm) goes away quickly. It really hurts, even just to straighten my arm.

Natalie and I just went to my first "cardiac class." They explained the process of the blockage formation (not sure that applies to me, I plan to query my doctor very specifically about what they saw in my arteries), what the stent does immediately and over time, and their offerings for ongoing education. I will begin "cardiac rehab" next month so they'll be easing me into an exercise regimen on a monitored basis, which does bring me comfort. I will probably pop for one of those chest heart rate monitors to wear whenever I workout - any recommendations?

I'm looking forward to talking with my doctor when he comes by (soon, I hope). I like the folks here, they've been great (really, great) but I don't want to be here any longer.

More news as it comes... Thank you SO much for your prayers and concern.

Supplemental update (I was tempted to call this "Captain's Log, supplemental")
Perhaps there was a plaque issue after all. I won't be able to ask the doctor who performed the procedure until next week. He is visiting the other hospitals where he also works and has a couple days off. The other doctor who has visited me Wednesday and today said that it likely was a clot that broke off from a plaque deposit.

I'm actually putting this out here now to help force myself to "live in the real world" and not deceive myself for even a moment that I will not have to make SOME "lifestyle changes."

Again, more info as it comes.

Thursday Update

2007-07-26T16:33:00.000-04:00

Been an interesting day. Around 10:30 last night I got to move to a "regular" room - no longer in CCU (cardiac care unit, like ICU for cardiac patients - good grief, it's so weird to describe MYSELF with those words!). Thus, late last evening I had the most wonderful experience - I got to take a SHOWER! I slept much better as well - far fewer interruptions (only 2).

Today has been a little different. My arrhythmia has been acting up a bit too much. Probably due to my impatience, wanting to see too many of the visitors that are coming to see us and wish us well. I truly appreciate all the kindnesses that have been shown to me, and to Natalie especially.

I was on a "steady the heartbeat" drip medicine until 10am, and I'm theorizing that my heart is now trying to adjust to maintaining a steady rhythm without the chemical assistance. (this is NOT verified with any medical professional - but I won't let that stop me from theorizing...) I had a rough patch after lunchtime today, but things seem to have settled down in my chest for now. However, I'm not even allowed to get out of bed to pee!!! This is NOT an exciting development. Y'know, it really is the little things that make a difference.

Can somebody bring me a personal pan pepperoni, please? With extra hot peppers sprinkled generously on top? The "cardiac diet" really stinks.

Well, here's a post I never expected to write!

2007-07-25T18:54:00.000-04:00

Uh, don't know how else to say it - I had a severe heart attack yesterday!

Yeah, I know!

I was jogging at lunchtime at work. I was about 1.5 miles away from the office and my chest felt like a HEAVY person was standing on it. A few minutes later my left arm felt really strange, right in the crook of my left elbow. Some mild nausea would come and go. I was already sweaty, but it seemed that the level of perspiration was out of proportion with the temp (about 80). Pretty soon I was walking back, but that took a while, as you might expect. At one point I acquiesced to the idea that this may be a heart attack, so I knelt and prayed for Natalie and the girls. I did pause to rest (and steel my will for the rest of the walk) on a bench. All I wanted to do was lie down. Eventually I made my way back to the gym. After a quick trip to the boys room and a QUICK shower I went to my cube and called Natalie, telling of my chest pain. Before I could say, "and I'm about to call for an ambulance," she was saying to call. So I got my first-ever ambulance ride, and am now a hospital patient for the first time since birth!

I had a clot that completely occluded the LAD artery in my heart. The medical nickname for this artery is "The Widowmaker." I have 2 stents in now and my heart has been adjusting to blood flow that it had not been getting. The rhythm has been a bit off due to "reprofusion" - as the muscle gets blood flow again, kinda like when your foot falls asleep. I don't have any significant lifestyle changes to make since this was a clot, rather than a plaque-related blockage.

The medical staff has been great here at Kennestone Hospital. I'm feeling well, but I'm hoping to go home in a couple days. I've had a LOT of folks come by, which means a lot. My bigger concern is for Natalie and the girls, of course.

This has been an absolutely SURREAL experience. Thank you for all the prayers and support. I will try to keep you posted - it's kinda nice to post this from my hospital bed!

God is good! I believe I have been spared for significant reasons. That would be the 3 other folks who live in my house.

Market update

2007-07-20T07:50:00.000-04:00

The stock market is STILL not in a healthy place. We are overdue (!) for a 10% correction. In 1997 the needed correction was late, and came in 2 phases - in August and in October. At this point I guess I'm hoping for 1997 redux, because the other option is 1987 redux. Remember October 1987? Biggest single-day drop ever. Significant pain. Difficult to profit from that kind of down move unless you're just lucky. Once that kind of down move starts it is very difficult to get into a trade. The market has gone up nearly nonstop for a year now. One "blip" down in late February and that's it. Again, this is NOT a healthy pattern. Nothing goes up forever! This one won't either. My earlier "predictions" were based on a healthy market behavior pattern - and this market is not doing this. The longer the needed correction is delayed, the harsher the correction will be.

Engage the market with caution! We're not likely to get much warning when the selling begins.

DUDE!

2007-07-02T11:51:00.000-04:00

As the father of daughters, there is a "rite of passage" that I will not get to enjoy.

There is a word that guys use, and refer to other guys with, that girls do not use. Further more, there is no female parallel to this word.

DUDE!

Fathers of sons get to teach their boys all the various ways to communicate with this one word.

Think about how many different thoughts can be expressed with that one word, simply by changing the inflection. Greeting, amazement, disgust, regret, disbelief, congratulations, excitement... I could go on and on.

But there is no suitable parallel for girls. "Chick" sure isn't it. Babe? Doll? "Sugah"? You gotta be kidding me.

I guess the Lord decided otherwise for me...

What a week!

2007-06-18T10:48:00.000-04:00

Wow. It was a blessing and a privilege to be a part of SuperWeek 2007. The staff was wonderful. The campers were great. The worship was powerful. The weather was surprisingly cooperative. Though we always keep a critical eye for improvements, it was in every respect a wonderful week of camp. I was especially happy to have all 4 of us there for the first time. Rachel had a GREAT week as a camper. Lauren had a great (but short) week also. For the first time that I can recall, Natalie did not want the week to end for her (she had to take Lauren home on Thursday afternoon so Lauren could attend Impact at DLU).

It was also a week of strange emotions, due to significant transitions. My friend Curt just finished his 15th and final turn as SuperWeek Director. Next year will feel odd, I expect. I'm hopeful that the next-gen worship leader has come forward as well. This means that I will MISS THAT A LOT! And yet, CREW is returning in force to the SuperWeek staff, and I'm thrilled. The primary up-front roles need to be filled by a younger generation than mine. I need to find the next primary contribution role for me. This is good growth, but I WILL MISS LEADING WORSHIP!!! Maybe I'll get a cameo or two - but I could be in a role where I lose my voice - like a team captain. Who knows?

Thanks to all the staff for their wonderfully selfless contributions to a SuperWeek! Glory to GOD!

Focus on God, Focus on God, Focus on God, Focus on God, Focus on God, Focus on God!

It's almost time!

2007-06-08T08:57:00.000-04:00

SuperWeek is almost here! It should be a VERY interesting week, as this is the major transition year for our staff. It is truly time for us "old guys" to fade into the background and for the changing of the guard to become reality. This has been planned and worked toward for years. There are still a couple pieces missing, but for the most part the major staff leadership positions are very capably filled. I'm very excited this year on several fronts, but one of the best is that all 4 of us will be there this year. I'm also excited to again accompany my older daughter as she sings. I'm excited that my nephews (on the Polutta side) will be there as well - gotta continue the legacy, even from NC! I'm excited that the CREW is back in such good number. (If you don't know what that is, well, it would take a few years to catch you up! Let's just say that the Engineers at SuperWeek aspire to be regarded as CREW some day...)

Please pray for great weather and for the Spirit of the Lord to be poured out on us in large measure! Be blessed!

The silly "needs" game.

2007-05-31T23:22:00.000-04:00

So you go to Google, type in your first name and the word "needs" and see what comes up. In no particular order...

1. Michael needs fiber! (no comment)
2. Michael needs you. (for what?)
3. Michael needs work. (maybe LESS work?)
4. "Michael, I feel, needs to become a Muslim" (there are no words)
5. Michael needs a date. (with my WIFE!)
6. Michael needs a van. (got one)
7. Michael needs dependable adults in his life. (uh... besides my wife, that is!)
8. Michael needs the Lord Jesus Christ of the King James Bible. (and NO other!!!)
9. Michael needs help. (yes, he does...)
10. Michael needs a whuppin'.

Christianity is challenging

2007-05-18T09:03:00.000-04:00

How's that for profound?

It can be so challenging to see how Christians argue with each other over so many issues & questions. Some are important, some are important only to some. Scriptural interpretation drives many of the arguments. Folks use proof texts to refute proof texts. And those we are called to reach watch to see something they want no part of. In trying to define/refine the cause of Christ we kill it.

I guess this is just how it's going to be. It has been for most of the 2000 years since Jesus left.

So often, it seems, we try to work from a position of knowledge rather than a position of faith. And we get confused. Am I to be humble or bold? Am I a servant or a leader? Our interpretations of scripture end up wrestling with a lot of false dichotomies.

So often we pray for "clarity" but I never see Jesus asking for clarity. A lot of his teachings are SERIOUSLY LACKING in the clarity department.

Lord, grant us your Spirit to lead, and grant us a deep awareness of our need to follow.

End of the school year crush

2007-05-12T09:46:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the extended "break" folks. It's the end-of-school-year crush. But my education continues. In fact, I leave in just a few minutes for my monthly class in Raleigh. I will miss one of the big end-of-year events, this one for Master's Academy. I don't like missing these things, but this year is the exception, rather than the rule, for me. I am so thankful for my wife's understanding regarding this education opportunity in which I am participating. I thank her for her trust and support.

Although it truly is a "Hallmark Holiday," I want to publicly wish my beloved wife a "Happy Mother's Day!" She is all I need and all I want in a wife, partner, lover, and friend. I am blessed!

Market update

2007-04-22T22:11:00.000-04:00

Based on Philip's name for my blog, I figured I'd better update my prediction.

The stock market will continue up for a few more weeks (until near the end of earnings season), then head down - likely down hard.

Virginia Tech...

2007-04-17T07:23:00.001-04:00

Our prayers and thoughts are with you...

So sad.

Habits

2007-04-13T13:34:00.000-04:00

Bad ones are easy to start, hard to quit.

Good ones seem to be harder to start, easier to quit.

Why is that?

A Magical Evening...

2007-04-02T08:21:00.000-04:00

We just returned from a short vacation in Orlando. We hit Universal Studios, Disney's Magic Kingdom, and Sea World in 3 consecutive days. We stayed at the (relatively new) Disney's Pop Century Resort - which is basically a Holiday Inn with Disney themes (and prices). A good time was had by all, but it really was a bit much to cram into 3 days there. We learned something important - after the drive down, and perhaps the first day at a theme park, we need to schedule an unstructured day to just sleep in and hang at the pool, or whatever.

The title of this post is based on the way every Disney phone call ended - "Have a magical...(insert time of day here)." Whatever...

I'd also like to respond to several who posted regarding my philosophical question. Yes, in the pure sense, kind vs. right is a false dichotomy. I would very much like to point out, however, that this is EXACTLY the problem in many instances with churches and how they treat other people. They may actually be right - though often they are just certain - but what they say and how they say it are so COMPLETELY VOID of the Spirit of Christ that it absolutely does not matter how right they are. I also see this attitude in interactions between my kids (never in myself, of course! (wink)). Being right takes precedence over being kind.

I do not see Christ act in this way to anyone, with the possible exception of the "religious leaders" of his time, though characterizing how he treated them as unkind is debatable. And though I would not be a "post-modern person" by any definition, I am a bit uncomfortable with many of the ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN answers my church heritage has provided over my lifetime. Yes, there are some things that are black-and-white. But there are far fewer of them than my tribe would like there to be. And most of them we have ignored - I truly do not think we follow Christ's example well with our resources. We spend WAY too much on buildings, not enough on poor and widows, for one example.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this.

A Philosophical Question

2007-03-23T09:38:00.000-04:00

This may be a false dichotomy (I don't think so), but...

Is it more important to be right, or to be kind?

More on Big Dreams

2007-03-21T09:59:00.000-04:00

I've put myself in a bind here, because I need to keep some of my big dreams private in order to preserve them (because long-term anonymity is a part of it). However, I'm glad some of you are taking the challenge of seriously considering the question.

I do not think that delineations of "for me" and "for God" are a good way to think. I do not belong to me. I am already bought and paid for. If the "for me" things do not have a "for God" component/angle then they need to go away. Yeah, I know that this is a bit "black and white" but I do think that this is a good way to think (at least aspirationally).

It is a dream of mine for PBC to be viable and growing (in attendance and influence) over the next 40 years even more so than it has for the prior 40.

It is a dream of mine to see my daughters saved and pure when the time comes for them to marry (if that happens).

It is a dream of mine that my wife will someday know just how much I love her.

It is a dream of mine to quit working for a living before I am 50.

That's enough for now.

Big dreams

2007-03-16T10:23:00.000-04:00

OK, folks - what are your BIG dreams? You do have BIG dreams, right? Now, it may well be that your BIG dreams involve small actions over time. I truly believe that we serve a God who can accomplish ANYTHING - and the way I see it, our task is to find what He has going on and figure out how to contribute to that. If He is already at work, it makes more sense to me to find what He's doing and participate - rather than start something new and ask Him to bless it.

So - what are your BIG dreams?

Jazzed about SuperWeek

2007-03-08T12:33:00.000-05:00

Yeah, it's 3 months away - but I'm JAZZED about SuperWeek. I'm so eager to see what the "next generation" will do this time around. I'm loving that we're in the last stages of the transition to PBCNext. I'm excited for the folks who are now driving the bus and I can hardly wait to see what happens!

God be praised!